As a second part to yesterday's post I had some additional thoughts about life. One must never dwell on the past, but you must wonder who you would be if certain pivotal moments in your life were different. You also must think of what those defining moments might be. It is impossible to know since our reality is purely subjective and none of us are omnipotent.
Several months ago I had rented a horribly depressing movie call Another Earth. It was incredibly tragic, but the premise was thought provoking. One day people look into the night sky and they see a bright blue star. Time inches along over years, the star appears bigger and brighter. Its no longer a star, its a planet. The closer it gets more people notice it eerily resembles Earth. Then the other Earth contacts them. There are people there and more shockingly they're all the same people. Everyone is there just a little different than they are here.
I often wonder who I might be if my life was different. I have thought many times how it would have been if my father hadn't killed himself. It is only one example of important events in my life. I could be different if my parents never divorced and so on. Would I have been any happier than I am now? Doubtfully. You also begin to wonder what affect you have on other's lives.
When I hear music I feel as though I can sense a thin veil of another reality. So close that I can almost experience it in some way. I see another me impervious to my own plights and insecurities. A me with sense and purpose, of excitement and creation. A person grounded where ever they may go. My ideal self. While this is delusional to think, we all in some way live vicariously though a better self. Whether it is through an anonymous username or game avatar or maybe just a day dream. I hope the other me is living enough life for the both of us.
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