Angry Dome

I am feeling especially cantankerous today. Anyone else get those urges? I'd like to hop on a horse with my trusty battle ax and invade a nearby village. Then proceed to pillage and burn. Some days I wake up and hope Aenema plays out.

I need an angry dome. I'm taking orders now. Let me enumerate my aggression:

-Blind benevolence
-Complacency
-Citizens of San Angelo
-Lack of good movies on HBO
-Rerouting of the North bound intersection of Bryant and 19th St
-FB
-The news
-Lack of money

Oh great flying spaghetti monster please distract me from my intense hatred of everything. Amen.

Baby KA-BOOMers

I am sick to my teeth hearing baby boomers complain about the demonetization of their generation. They just aren't willing to accept the responsibility. All they can talk about is what they contributed. What I find sad is that fact that so many boomers claim responsibility of social contributions that were endeavored only a few a of their generation. YOU didn't make Bill Gates and YOU didn't help Bill Gates do anything. Bill Gates made himself and his legacy. Along with all the other famed trail blazers of that generation.

Boomers still consume at hedonistic rates as they did in their prime. The whole world and economy is falling apart and yet they still sit there with their hands out waiting for their checks. Whats left for the rest of us? Nothing, scraps at which we fight over. Most of the focus is on class warfare, what we should be worried about is the old person riding on our backs.

I'm not saying we should throw the elderly to the wolves. What I am saying is that they can't have their cake and eat it too. They can claim as many SS contribution years as they want. Fact of the matter is that due to inflation your contributions mean shit. They should get SS that is directly proportional to the amount that they paid in regardless of the cost of living. We should help in their care, but only in proportion to overall social welfare.

I don't know what the definitive answer is, but the entitlement has to stop. I would hope that by the time I become enfeebled and useless, voluntary euthanization will have been legalized. The moment I become a burden to my family and society, I want to be dead.

Everytown USA

This morning as many of us started our day we were faced with tribulation as we went online. We were incited with a very sobering reality of what can be. We are geeks that have been patiently awaiting the last release of the Dark Knight trilogy. I'm sure some of you and some of our friends were at our own local midnight screenings. Another state away other geeks were excitingly waiting for the screening when their lives  were unfairly cut short. An angry coward decidedly passed judgement upon their mortality. He unfortunately was able to bring his intent to fruition. I will not call this a tragedy. Tragedy is when someone accidentally drowns at the lake. A tragedy is when a child gets cancer. This is just murder.

We are left to examine how we spend our lives and how we treat people. I feel terribly for this man's family. We always hear about prayers and thoughts going to victims, but we never hear about the family. I can relate to this greatly. I can tell you from experience you question every moment you had with this individual. You carry enormous guilt and shame. You can't walk away from it, you're blood. Victims will always been remembered in a positive light. She was a wonderful girl so full of life. He was loved by all that knew him. The perpetrator is burned into everyone's mind as one thing; evil. Which is rightly true, but we all forget that they were human like the rest of us. At one time the individual was someone's beloved child, another's best friend and a regular person. We will always be left with one question: What brought them to this? The family is left with: What could I have done to change this outcome? What did I do wrong? Many times there is nothing that anyone could have done. The person is ultimately responsible for their actions.

We need to remember that this could have happened to any of us. We shouldn't dwell on the whatif. But it is important to really examine what is important to you. After all, our lives are merely blips in the grand scheme of the universe. We must also be much more aware on how we affect others. Is it really worth it flipping off that guy you were stuck behind in traffic? Is that the tipping point for that individual? Should you purposefully incite anger in someone who's angered you? Should you berate another unknown person online? 

I will not give the knee-jerk support "my heart and prayers go to the victims" as it is meaningless in this day and age. The truth is that my mind and soul has gone into lost lives of the victims. The older I've gotten and with children I have become more and more aware of my own mortality. Our lives are short. We must conduct ourselves in a way in which we may live without regret.

Disgust

I wanted to share this opinion article from the NYTimes regarding our extreme individualism. It completely exemplifies my disgust with our society and culture. I am not saying we should be socialists. I just want to point out how it seems that everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too. We're all incredibly selfish. Even in the name of altruism we're still self absorbed. I'm sick of hearing about everyone's individualism, of accommodating for the needs of the one, of their so called freedoms. Everyone is so keen to cut off the nose to spite the face. To summarize a famous quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.


http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/17/opinion/bruni-individualism-in-overdrive.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

Over it!

I think I've decided that I'm totally over facebook and social media in general. In the beginning I thought maybe I could get to know people better and get more involved. I also had the desire to get to know my father's side of the family. I spoke to a few, but made no real connection. In fact I've learned nothing new nor do I feel closer to anyone. If anything, I feel a gap widening. I've learned a few things about myself. I've learned some things about social media. I think what has hit me the hardest is that I don't seem to have as much in common with people as I thought. And old close acquaintances do not seem interested in rekindling relationships. I think with the FB culture and the our culture now, people are reluctant to actually get to know anyone or start new friendships in general. I don't blame them. Overall, I feel better talking to myself anyways.


As to FB, I've noticed that people like to friend you, but don't actually ever talk to you, ever. I find it to be terribly sad that the only way others communicate is through FB. Its like email is dead. The ads are really obnoxious. Do people understand that when they like a product or place that it places ads on their wall? Overall FB feels very shallow and cheap....


I'm not any closer to any of my family members. Its wounding to know that they're aware of my existence, but show little to no interest. I learned first hand that my father was right about the family. They're flaky and self absorbed. I see why he didn't have anything to do with them the last twenty years before his death. Hell, I'm probably that way. Maybe its better that we don't speak to each other. 


I contacted a few people on my mother's side, to find out that they also have less interest than my father's family. Confirms that I'm a pariah due to my intense dislike of Christianity. Thats ok, they never did anything to help me anyways. I'd rather not hear their narrow minded views and prejudice. What bothered me the most is that a family(whom I won't mention) that I was incredibly close to had no interest to communicate with me in the least. Its not like I wanted them to be all about me or my business, but maybe a hello and a little acknowledgement would have been nice. Some how that bridge was burned....


I learned a lot about myself. I am and my family are unique. My view on life and the world are controversial. I won't apologize for anything. FB has made me feel nothing, but isolation. Looking for commonality and comradeship was fruitless. I feel much more on guard with myself on and offline. I feel more guarded about my family as well. Every man is an island. We're better off holed up away from the world.


If anything I have come to appreciate my relationship with my husband much more. No one will ever know, understand and tolerate me the way he does. I don't think anyone will ever live life like I want except him. I know he'll always see me more objectively than morally based. He's an asshole and I'm an asshole. We're perfect for each other. 


We're a small kingdom with allegiances only to ourselves. And I'm fine with that!